Recently in a handful of unrelated incidents American teens have committed suicide out of sheer embarrassment because either someone started a hurtful (and unlikely rumor about them) or either attacked them or outed them for being homosexual. In typical knee-jerk fashion, lawmakers are in a tizzy and are scrambling to enact ANY sort of anti-bully legislation to protect our children. While it shouldn't matter those bullied who would up taking their own lives were white kids from suburbia. Do I have issues with white kids from Suburbia of course not. Do I think someone should do something about bullies in America's schools? Of course. Should we pass strict "anti bullying" laws?
Before I answer that question let me pose one. Is bullying a new and recent phenomena or have bullies been around since the dawn of mankind? Everyone who went to school falls into one of three categories they either were bullied, were bullies or know someone who fell into one of the aforementioned categories. When I was in elementary I was unfortunate enough to have sat in front of someone who would today be called bi-polar. Back then we just called them crazy. A student who I'll call Phil used to go into violent rages and hit the person closest to him and as we sat alphabetically and I sat directly in front of him he would periodically punch me in the back of the head. Once he got up in the middle of a class, knocked me off my desk and pummelled me. We were both sent to the Principal's office where we were ordered to say "I'm sorry & shake hands" and go back to class. I looked at the principal with disbelief and told her I wasn't going to apologize for being attacked for no reason. Regardless she told me I'd get paddled (as they weren't stingy with the paddle back then) if I didn't. I reached out to shake his hand and he stood up and punched me full on in the face...IN our principals office.
I was given an ice pack for my eye and for some reason they gave both me AND my bully Popsicles and sent us back to class. Phil would occasionally wait for me after school with two other idiots and they would jump me for sport. When I reported it I was told my teacher (whom I sincerely hope is dead and roasting in hell by now) that "No one likes a tattle tale." By the time I made it to high school bullies hadn't changed I was being picked on in the 10th grade by some idiot. When I defended myself against him he attacked me with five of his friends and gave me a concussion by hitting me in the back of the head with a 55 gallon metal trash can. I told an assistant principal and was told "We'll do what we can." The next time I saw my bully he didn't have his five friends in tow. He was walking down a hall with his girlfriend. I ran at him at full speed and turned his face into my own personal punching bag.
As it was the late 80s and every jerk and his dog had a HUGE Run DMC looking gold chain, I wrapped my hands in his and used it as a crude weapon to repeatedly ram his head into a locker as hard as I could to the point of denting it. Before I knew it, Mr. Henry my assistant principal (who stood a good five foot four) had tackled me at the knees and was dragging me to the office by my left heel with one hand. I was suspended as was my bully for the previous confrontation and I was never bullied again. Funny thing. Four years ago I was in a convenience store and ran into the bully from my second story. The fight came up and we had a good laugh about it.
My point? There have always been and will always be bullies how we react to it defines us in a way. Was my way the best way? Most certainly it wasn't, and I don't' advocate being a vigilante. The bullied in the 90s responded to their bullies by bringing guns to school and apparently the bullied in this generation respond by killing themselves. In the 90s principals responded by getting more counselors to talk to kids when they felt "stressed". The downside to this was anytime a kid didn't want to be in a class he/she would simply say "Uh...I got a problem and need to talk to my counselor" which lead to rampant abuse.
The solution to bullies isn't passing laws to hold some bully accountable if the bullied kills him/herself. The solution is simpler than that. Teachers, principals and parents should simply DO THEIR FUCKING JOBS and come down on bullies like a ton of bricks. What about Phil the bully from my first story? I ran into him in the old neighborhood at a gas station. He was incoherent and rambling talking about how people were out to get him. I mentioned a former classmate of ours and Phil made some sort of veiled threat against him. I let him leave first and while he was outside someone approached him and he drew a 9 millimeter pistol on them prompting them to flee. Passing "feel good" anti-bully laws won't solve this age old problem, the framework has long been in place to handle it, but rather than disciplining those who bully we coddle them and ignore the kids BEING bullied until something goes horrifically wrong and until we start telling kids at an early age that bullying is wrong the problem will persist.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
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