Things I'd LIKE to see...but probably won't...

The way I think is slightly askew compared to everyone else, and I'm comfortable with that. When everyone else zigs I don't zag, I hop on one foot side ways. I will go into restaurants and insist my flambe NOT be on fire...just to annoy the chef and will bring along the uncouth slob who consumes his entire meal...with a spoon. Yes that includes his salad. As I have a flair for both the dramatic and unusual there are certain things I don't think I've ever seen, but most certainly would LIKE to in real life. Among them are:

1. A drunk multi-racial group comprised of some black, hispanic and Asian guys in karaoke bar singing Wild Cherry's "Play That Funky Music White Boy."

2. An exotic dancer in the midde of a lap dance saying "Screw this. I can't do this any more. Here's your twenty bucks dude. I'm going back to grad school."

3. A Tea Party member saying: "I believe that President Obama was born in Hawaii. You guys should drop this. We got a better shot at getting people on our side if we stick to attacking his policies."

4. A "rent to own" place that only has a 10% markup on the items you purchase from them on credit.

5. A parent apologizing to a teacher for his kid skipping class, not doing assignments, constantly texting and being profane and disrespectful.

6. A Politician admitting that they don't care about poor people and would rather build prisons than schools.

7. A politicans telling the top 10% of Americans and big corporations to pay their damned taxes instead of bitching that the states are out of money.

8. A young person (under 25) driving somewhere where small children are playing and NOT doing 80 miles an hour.

9. A famous person breaking the law and GOING TO JAIL rather than getting community service or "rehab" as an option.

10. A book store.

11. A woman who accepts the fact that most men don't care about SHOES.

12. A person under 21 who says "I screwed up. It's not your fault, it's not my friend's fault, it's not my parents fault. I knew better and I screwed up anyway. I have no excuse. I'm ready to accept whatever my punishment is."

13. Someone promoted because he or she is intelligent and deserves it and NOT because he's a friend of a friend, a relative or a braindead suck up.

14. Banana flavored Suzie Qs. I LOVED those things! Where the hell are they?

15. Supply and demand based oil and gas prices.

16. A High School where 99% of the student population think drugs are stupid.

17. Tall, buxom women in lycra. Hey...I'm a pig. Sue me.

18. Cheeze Doodles. I can't find them anywhere.

19. The antidote.

20. "Purple monkey dishwasher."

21. Batman

22. A fair tax code.

23. An wide awake air traffic controller.

24. An even tempered redhaired woman.

25. A reasonably priced dentist.

26. Fireflies. What the hell happened to them?

27. An okonomiyaki shop. Okay in all fairness I know where a bunch of those are and I'm willing to go back to Japan to visit them.

28. "Hoof."

29. A middle of the road Republican. I KNOW they still exist. I've SEEN them! When I was a kid they were EVERYWHERE! What the hell happened to them?

30. A talking dog...who happens to be a rabid football fan (no pun intended) and who hates the Dallas Cowboys.