Houston's New Mayor.

Annise Parker has been actively involved in Houston politics for as long as I can remember. She has been a city counsel member in both a district and at large and has been city controller. Several years ago, I was fortunate enough to meet Ms. Parker and she struck me as a sincere public servant.

Ms. Parker ran for mayor against a Gene Locke whose political "experience" came as an appointee to several positions. He wasn't a bad man and wouldn't have been a bad mayor, but many felt Ms. Parker to have been more qualified and she won 52% of the vote in Houston's mayoral election. I will say I like Ms. Parker and voted for her.

All is well in Houston...except there are one or two people who take issue with the fact that Ms. Parker is openly gay. My voting for Ms. Parker had nothing to do with her sexuality. She strikes me as a competent public servant who has the best interest of the city at heart and to that end I think she'll make a great mayor. My concern as I cast my ballot as well as now is those who will spend the next two years talking about the fact that my new mayor is a lesbian.
The national media will take both sides of the coin. Conservative media outlets will blast Houston as the new Soddom because we've elected a homosexual as mayor, the "progressive" media outlets will try to treat Houston as a 'city on a hill' in the struggle for gay rights. I wish for us to be seen as neither. There will be religious types who will more than likely not consider us as a choice for their church's conventions.

There will be gun lobbies who will wonder how the biggest city in Texas could have done such a thing and will either avoid us or make it their mission to show us the "error" of our ways. We ARE the 4th largest city in America with an oil and gas industry that keeps a good portion of America afloat.
We're the busiest port on the gulf coast and a city where the cost of living doesn't eat the average person alive. Mayor Parker grew up here and is an intelligent woman with a good head on her shoulders and will have a large, diverse city to run. She needs "The Advocate" in her face as badly as she needs "Fox News." I for one hope both leave us and our mayor alone.

I...Hate Everything about....(list #1)

In the 90's Rock group Ugly Kid Joe did a tune called "Everything About You" in which the singer outlined everything he hated about his girlfriend. I'm not here to bitch about a lady, but rather about little things in every day life that irritate the hell out of me.

Hand Sanitizer: For God's sake. I'm IN a bathroom. I want a big, soapy anti bacterial lather. This crap is just some gooey alcohol that kills germs...but leaves dirt in place. I had axel grease on my hands. The hand sanitizer killed every last germ in it! I can't touch ANYTHING....but if I did the huge black stains I left would be hypoallergenic!

BlueTooth Headsets: Ever see a guy walking down the street talking to himself? If you saw this before 2005 it was some mentally disturbed individual discussing the subtle differences between 18th century British Parlaimentary procedures and the current model used in India or Why Pitt the Elder was a MUCH better Prime Minister than Benjamin Deshrali. NOW if you see the same guy and he has a little piece of blue plastic on his ear...you can rest assured that some bozo OTHER than you is listening to this prattling dufus.


Fox News: I could care less that they used press releases from the Bush Whitehouse as news stories. It doesn't bother me that they trash President Obama. They make the hate list because of the whole "tea bag" fiasco. People, you're entitled to slant to the right. The world would suck if we all agreed, but you can't argue that you're fair and balanced and that you're merely reporting news if you SPONSORED the "tea parties" and set up "tea party" web sites. Ladies and gents despite how un-abashedly pro Obama MSNBC is...durring the presidential campaigns they didn't set up Obama web sites. For the record I don't hate YOU guys. It's the hypocricy I hate.


The BCIS Ratings: So I have to watch USC, UT and Notre Dame in Bowl games every season even if they post sucky records because by VIRTUE of the fact that they are USC, UT and Notre Dame...they're going to AUTOMATICALLY make it to bowl games? There are colleges and universities with winning teams who we'll never see playing in a bowl game, because YOU jackasses don't know of any famous alumni from the schools in question. You guys should change if from the BCIS to the BSCIS. It would be more fitting. Hey guys ever hear of PLAYOFFS? They do it for college basketball...no one's complained yet.

Kid's Breakfast Cereal: Not because they're loaded with sugar. Not because they have no nutritional value, not because they're possibly the worst things any human can possibly consume...but because they don't put PRIZES in the boxes anymore! WTF people. A brotha can't get a decoder ring in a box of Cocoa Pebbles? Captain Crunch out of 3D glasses? You people sicken me!

People who talk on the PHONE or Text while driving: Okay. We as a society live under the DELUSION that there is such a thing as "multi-tasking" Translation a bunch of cheap A-holes who run companies rather than letting individuals be productive by doing one thing at a time give one person the work of three people. This idiocy crept it's way into real life to the point where people will attempt to manuver a couple of thousand pounds of steel and fiberglass through groups of people doing the same while:

a. applying make up
b. eating
c. playing air guitar
d. text messaging
e. receiving "oral pleasure" (as outlined in the film "Pulp Fiction")
f. watching small video screens
g. reading books/ news papers
h. combing their hair
i. TALKING ON THE PHONE!

People try something novel...like...um...I don't know....DRIVING YOUR *FCUK(tm.)ing car!


*FCUK = French Connection United Kingdom a clothing manufacturer...I had no idea they made cars.


The Techno remix of ANYTHING!!!: I liked the song. I liked the first remix...do you have to do 20 remixes of a given song or worse still give it the same sickening euro-trash (in 2/4 time dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum...dum-dum-dum-dum-dum) back beat? Just shoot me in the forehead, it would be much more humane than hearing the mega-mix of Elmo singing the alphabet.

The Dallas Cowboys: They didn't do anything in particular this time around, but I've always hated the organization for various reason and I just didn't want to leave them out.

Basketball referees: The officials are the reason I don't watch basketball anymore. No one calls traveling EVER! "Marquis" players don't get called for ANYTHING. Michael Jordan was a gifted athlete...he didn't NEED referees ignoring the FLAGRANT fouls he committed...but they did anyway. If you doubt that refs can control the outcome of a basketball game...ask the Sacremento Kings how four of their starting FIVE fouled out in a playoff game against the Lakers.

Activist with 'mysterious' sources of income: Ever see someone on TV with the caption "community activist" under their name? I'll bet it's someone who has a camera in his/her face whenever there is an issue with some disenfranchised group. After the rally or press conference ends, this person usually hops into a new Mercedes or a Range Rover and drives off to a big house..rather than some kind of job. I'm all for helping out one's community...but if it seems like it's all you do you kinda look like a parasite. Martin Luther King was a minister, Caesar Chavez was a Union Organizer. My point? Both of these cats had jobs. Look into it...


The Hills/Keeping up With the Kadashians/Jon & Kate/ Kathy Griffin/ & Every"SCRIPTED reality show: I only know who Heidi and Spencer are...because TMZ puts a camera in their faces every 8 seconds and TELLS ME their famous, prior to that I neither knew, cared nor gave a vugg. Insofar as I can figure out she's an idiot and he's a douche incapable of growing visible facial hair. Kim Kardashian is pretty enough, but had she not video taped herself getting her freak on with Brandi's barely talented younger brother (who would have had neither a recording/acting career without her) would anyone have any clue who she was? You're a pretty Armenian girl with a big butt...so what. That and $5.00 will get you a coffee at Starbucks. If you don't have any actual talent you shouldn't be famous simply for BEING famous. The exceptions are Kathy Griffin and Maragret Cho. They actually ARE commedians and both can act so I won't dog them out.


Parents who insist on being thier child's "Friend": Being physically and mentally abusive to little Johnny may wreck his self esteem. I agree; however, treating Johnny like he's your younger brother rather than your son and never showing him that his actions have consequences will turn him into a disrespectfull little vinegar and water filled feminine hygeine product with an overwhelming sense of entitlement who as an adult will need a deep-down-home-countryboy-what-you say-about-my-mama-ASSWHIPPIN'. So be Johnny PARENT now. You can be his friend/mentor/big brother when he's in his 30's.


Celebrity "News": I like Angelina Jolie's movies, but I don't need to know that she took her son shopping for a new Playstation 12? or is adopting a small child from the Democratic Federated Socialist Republic of Yusukistan. Let celebs have a private life.

Ryan Seacrest: Sorry you did WHAT to earn a star on the Hollywood walk of fame? Stanley Kubrick directed iconic films...and HE doesn't have one. You're a radio DJ who hosts American Idol and says: "Seacrest Out" as you're leaving a room. Cha...not feelin' ya princess. I want to see a bunch of thugs beat the man down for sport and have one of them say 'Seacrest out.' before knockin' him the vugg out. What a tool.

Movies based on tv shows OR that are remakes of OTHER films: Are there so many idiots running Hollywood that no one has an original idea, or does Hollywood lack the cojones to make films and television shows that take any kind of risks? Hey Hollywood...grow a pair.

Tom Brady: Miss, when you have a 40 point lead in a football game after two quarters of play, if there are 60 seconds on the clock...in the second quarter you kneel on the ball and run down the clock. You don't shove the ball down your opponents throat and try to see if you can score another touchdown. That madame where I come from is what we'd call a bitch move. Wonder why you spent last season out with that leg injury? Because you've been playing like an arrogant little BITCH for most of your career.

Well there you have it. The first installment of the nonsensical ravings of a lunatic mind and if ya don't like it...life's hard....deal with it.

Guys and Fashion

For some reason I was subjected to the film "The Devil Wears Prada." For those unfamiliar with the chick flick in question it revolves around an aspiring journalist who takes a job at a fashion magazine (Obviously modeled on Vogue) and is the 2nd personal assistant to it's editor-in-chief (obviously modeled on Anna Wintour). In the film our protagonist has her resolve slowed eroded by a cruel boss who expects her to get her flights out of hurricanes and to locate manuscripts for unpublished novels among her other tasks. She is constantly ridiculed by very catty men and women for her fashion sense or lack thereof and her respect for the fashion industry as a whole. the women are catty and the men are more so. The female characters strike you as women who will die alone and the male characters strike you as guys who couldn't work in an all male environment for more than a week without being beaten to death.
The film paints the fashion industry as a bunch of tall, skinny, shallow, bitter women and the gay men who wish they were tall, skinny, shallow, bitter women and the remarkably small outfits they design.
I will admit I have no fashion sense whatsoever. I think I could give "Hitchhiker's Guide to The Galaxy's" Zaphod Beetlebrod a run for his money as "worst dressed sentient being in the universe." Here's the funny thing. I don't care. Some say our clothes make a statement about us, but I'm sorry I don't see it. Mind you there are occassions when I will dress to impress, but ultimately I don't really see the point . Clothes to be serve a utilitarian purpose. Pants cover my legs, a shirt covers my torso and a jacket keeps me warm. I'm wearing sneakers for comfort and boots if I'm going to be in the great outdoors. Wearing one color because it's a given season makes no sense to me, and neither does blowing an entire paycheck on shoes.
I imagine "Fashion week" has to be the "fashionistas" equivilent of the superbowl, but it still does nothing for me.
Do there exist men who care about clothes and shoes? Yes. It's been my experience that three types of men care about fashion:

a. The insecure
b. The incredibly shallow
c. Really gay guys.

By saying that I'm not attacking gay men for their taste in clothes, I am however attacking the shallow and insecure guys. In sofar as fashion is concerned the rest of us could care less.

Must be a Commie Plot!

I've always been fascinated by history. The written record of mankind's triumphs and transgressions enthralls me. We can learn from how someone succeeded or failed. In the midst of the great health care debate I've heard lots of angry men and women shouting down anyone siding with the president or the Democratic party in this instance and they all seem to be unified in their cries of "socialized medicine." The bulk of the men and women tend to be largely conservative and white.
Being conservative and white aren't bad things. Consider that conservatives as a group by definition simply aren't big fans of radical change and as change can be daunting concepts I can respect this on some level, but I have to analyze what's going on now and compare it to a few other instances in American history.

When in the 20's organized labor lobbied for a shorter work week, a minimum wage and benefits they were called "Communist." They were opposed by big business and such noteworthy conservative organizations such as the Ku Klux Klan. Ironically the bulk of the Klan's membership were blue collar types who benefitted MOST from labor laws. Big companies who shall remain nameless hired thugs to beat up Union reps and The Klan was KNOWN for beating, lynching and running union reps out of town.
When Franklin Roosevelt suggested the New Deal, conservatives and big business called it socialism to the highest degree.
When the civil rights movement hit it's stride in the mid 50's Conservatives were calling it a "Commie Plot" and went so far as to call Martin Luther King a Communist as a means of discrediting him. Along with the conservatives (Who were the Democrats at the time) were the conservative "Citizen's Councils" (who saw integration as evil) and the rank and file of the Ku Klux Klan.
Flash foward to present day. America has a biracial president who is trying to push healthcare reform. Who opposes him? The Insurance companies who deny men and women coverage, give them ridiculous deductables, and just flat out won't pay some claims and the Pharmaceutical Industry who rakes in huge profits for drugs which they sell for a 1/3 their American price in Canada.
Is President Obama's overhaul of the healthcare system a good idea? I haven't read all 1100 pages of the document which lays out his provisions so I won't agree or disagree. Will his plan cost us a fortune? Again, haven't read the proposal so I won't say. Uninformed opinions make one appear short sighted. What I find odd however, is that there are many people who are running with half truths on this potential legislation and calling it both "Socialism" and "communism." What can I say when threatened, play the commie card. Worked for Joe McCarthy. Didn't it?

Tears for Lola

My 3rd grade teacher Mrs Stokes was a master of child psychology. In the year which I spent in her class she convinced me that I was possibly the dumbest child to have ever drawn breath. She attempted to place in me "special needs" classes and HISD subjecteded me to not one but two IQ tests at her bequest.  I was tested twice, because Mrs Stokes successfully convinced the principal that the person who administered the first test OBVIOUSLY made a mistake. The second test showed precisely what the first had shown. I was far from intellectually challenged.

            While I wasn't the "special needs" case that Mrs Stokes had painted me to be I needed a teacher who could have undone the damage that she had obviously done to my psyche. 

Every school has that one teacher whom the kids (and some of the teachers) both respect and fear. At Alcott Elementary in Houston, Texas that teacher was Mrs. Lola Blackmon. Mrs Blackmon taught 4th grade and was known for not taking any attitude from any student or parent and swinging a mean paddle.  As I and Mrs Stokes' outgoing students stood in the hallway outside her door we watched as the fourth grade teachers walked up to class after class and read the names of their new students off the clip boards they carried.

          I can't speak for my classmates, but I stood there praying the way that only an 8  year old boy could for my name NOT to have been on Mrs Blackmon's list.  She was a short, stout woman with skin the color of a freshly poured cup of black coffee. She walked up to my group without expression and peered though her big bi-focals and read four names:

"Davis, Johnny. Garner Frank, HANDY, JESSE. Spiller Willie. Come with me boys." We were in shock. We were too scared to move, but her reputation with a paddle made us more frightened of staying put. From day one Mrs Blackmon let it be known that she would expect nothing less than our best at all times. We would respect, ourselves, one another and her at all times and if we didn't there were consequences. The first time she was out we gave a substitute teacher hell on earth. On her return, EVERY student (except those who were absent) got a paddling for disrespecting a sub. Needless to say every sub we had after that told her how "Well behaved" we were.

          For reasons I didn't understand she was particularly hard on me personally. She always gave me extra assignments. I didn't complain, I was too afraid of her to have said anything. There were times when my classmates would be at recess and she would give me lengthy vocabulary lists or reading assignments.  At the end of the school year Mrs Blackmon pulled me aside when my classmates were playing dodgeball and said "Jesse you're probably wondering why I gave you so much extra work this year aren't you." I was too afraid of her to answer. "Tell the truth."

"Yes ma'am." I replied sheepishly. She then told me about how Mrs Stokes had initially tried to retain me in the 3rd grade and when that failed how she had attempted to have me placed in special needs classes. After hearing about how Mrs Stokes had convinced the principal to test me a 2nd time Mrs Blackmon told the principal that she would gladly take me into her class and prove that Mrs. Jane Stokes had simply given up on me far too soon. 

        I was fortunate to have had my own personal Henry Higgins in the form of Mrs Lola Blackmon. The following year I and several of Mrs. Blackmon's former students were placed in the gifted and talented program. I didn't realize it at the time, but I actually enjoyed the things she made me read. I enjoyed being able to do vocabulary exercises without a dictionary and I enjoyed writing. 

         In high school and later in college I would occasionally venture by Alcott Elementary to see how my teacher was doing.   Whenever I did, I got Mrs. Blackmon's trademark smile and a huge hug. One day while talking to a concierge in Houston Center I mentioned Mrs Blackmon and the impact she had had on me early on. As luck would have it, the concierge was in her very first class when she taught at Sunnyside Elementary. 

        We laughed and joked about her for a moment then he hit me with a devastating blow. He'd informed me that the greatest teacher I had ever known, had passed away a few months earlier. There were hundreds at the funeral, most in attendance had been former students. I'm not ashamed to admit that I stood there and openly wept for Mrs Lola Blackmon. 

        Today I work for HISD and whenever I can I try to rise to the incredible standard which she set.  There are times when I will ask myself 'How WOULD Mrs Blackmon handle this?' when faced with a perplexing issue. 

       

         We encounter many people in the course of our lives. Some we forget instantaneously, some we find memorable, others make a profound impact.  I'm happy and proud to say that Lola Blackmon made an impact. Who knows, maybe one day years from now, someone may say the same of a kid who sat in the front of Mrs Lola Blackmon's 4th grade class in 1979.

Who do you have to kill to get published?

 

For the better part of my life I've wanted to write fiction. Last summer I wrote an outline and from it wrote a 273 page manuscript about a girl from the midwest who runs away from home and is forced to make an inner journey on the mean streets of a sweltering urban hell as she supports herself in the world's oldest profession and takes stock of her life. 

           I allowed a couple of objective and just plain mean people read it. They loved it and asked when I was getting published. My question is this. WHEN AM I getting published. I learned after completing the project that publishers don't take manuscripts from authors who DON'T have agents. Hence the days of sending your manuscript to Bantam or Simon and Schuster are long gone. 

            If you're famous or infamous literary agents salivate at the thought of you putting your incessant ramblings on paper as they can sell millions of copies of a book that is filled with pics of your dog or you doing laundry.  I mean come on, Paris Hilton's DOG Tinkerbell is a published author for god's sake. Celebs, pseudo celebs and the idiot by products of condomless celebrity sex can get books published while men and women with premises that would make great books fall by the way side and continue to work in factories simply because no one want to listen to an unknown. 

           Literary agents are like ugly girls on an aircraft carrier to unpublished writers. They KNOW they're sought after so they're considerably more selective than they would be under normal circumstances. Let me give you a scenario.  You're a lit agent and a security guard from the University of Mississippi has written a manuscript. Do you give it the once over, or let him get lost in the shuffle of other authors who clamor to be published? Chances are you'll do the later. Congratulations! You passed on "Soldier's Pay" and Mr William Faulkner will simply have to find SOMEONE ELSE to publish his works and his Nobel and Pulitzer prizes will not equal a few million more in sales for YOUR agency. The downside to being TOO selective is that they may very well be missing out on the next William Faulkner, Stephen King or Amy Tan.

         I'm not trying to imply that I and every other unpublished author out there should be mentioned in the same breath with Faulkner, Tan, King, Stienbeck, Sinclair and Capote, but at the same time if literary agents never let us past their receptionist the world will never be able to judge for themselves. I and every other unpublished author out there write for the joy we get from telling our stories. I'm actually 125 pages into my second book about a first year teacher in an inner city school (I work as a substitute teacher in an inner city school by the way) and I write simply because I love doing so.  But who knows, the literati may be too busy waiting for Tinkerbell's latest saga to care about what unknown writers in Houston, Sioux City, Madison Biloxi are doing.

Music Piracy...hardly.

On Thursday June 18th a jury awarded a group composed of music giants Warner Music Group Corp, Vivendi SA's Universal Music Group, EMI Group PLC and Sony Music Entertainment 1.92 million dollars in a copy right suit.  Who were these giants of the music industry suing? A huge musical conglomerate who could crush them individually if they DARED not to sue en mass? A music mogul who attempted to steal the recordings of their artists to become even wealthier? Who frightened the companies that give us the bulk of our distributed music? Would you believe a housewife and mother of two? 

       Yes, Jamie Thomas-Rassett  was found to have willfully violated the copyrights of 24 songs by making them available for free downloads and was charged the sum of $ 80,000 PER SONG! This is Thomas-Rassett's second trail. Music industry fat cats are saying that people like Thomas-Rassett are the reason they keep jacking up the price of downloading music for a fee. 

      Fact the average C.D cost 18 dollars and usually has 11 songs on it, most of which are filler material. The average blank CD cost  a few cents. The music industry seems too stupid to grasp that the REASON for wholesale "Piracy" are their ridiculous prices. I wanted to purchase the soundtrack of "Jesus Christ Superstar" on CD. The price was $40.00. I went out and bought the MOVIE "Jesus Christ Superstar" and it only cost me $10.00.  Does it cost more to record an album than it does to make a film? Of course not.  Record companies are run by men and women so incompetent that they have ceased to ask what people are listening to and now TELL us what we listen to. Most song that make it to radio are chosen by a handful of record company executives and the heads of a few major corporations that control the bulk of Americas radio stations, Cashbox Media, Cox & Clear Channel Communications control most of the major market stations in every format. Recording industry low life tell the media conglomerates what they have, buy lots of air time and we get sucky artist like the Plain White Tee's, L'il Wayne and The Jonas Brothers going platinum. Prior to Disney shoving these warmed over Osmonds down our collective throats...who the hell ever heard of the Jonas Brothers.

          Music industry types have always wanted to squeeze every dime from consumers. In the 60s when cassette players were about to hit the market, record companies sued saying they would lose hundreds of millions from people recording things on cassette. They lost thankfully and an entire generation recorded songs directly from radio and made our own poor quality cassettes. We still bought the albums but some times we merely wanted a single rather than an album. Ironically the recording industry didn't collapse and the earth didn't fall from it's axis.

           When it became possible to buy music online not only did recording industry types complain, but overpaid, spoiled artist did as well. At one point when Napster provided free downloads, Heavy Metal band  Metallica's drummer Lars Ullrich  whined like a little girl who had soiled her favorite Sunday dress at the thought of someone downloading "Master of Puppets" for free. Globally Lars' music has sold hundreds of millions of copies making him and the other members of the band very wealthy men several times over. Not satisfied with his millions Lars whined on behalf of all spoiled musical vaginal cavities. Apparently he could have bought platinum fixtures for the bathroom in his yacht rather than gold ones had one person in Michigan not downloaded one of his songs without paying for it.  

         One can't help but wonder how small someone's genitalia would have to be in order to measure his worth not in the QUALITY of the music he's created, how many concerts, he's sold out or his place in music history, but rather how many poor people he could prevent from listening to his music, becoming fans and possibly BUYING his music.  The music industry needs to take a long hard look at itself. For decades the quality of music has declined to the point where when someone with talent proves how well they can sing we are collectively Amazed because the music industry in addition to over charging us, has brainwashed us to think that only attractive people can sing or should. If that IS true and we can judge someone's beauty based on their personalities then the bulk of record company executives shouldn't be allowed to record out going messages on their own answering machines.

Taking Pics with a DICTATOR?! (GASP) And SMILING?!?

There's an old joke in political circles that starts out "What's the difference between a 'terrorist' and a 'freedom fighter'? a 'terrorist' is someone who kills, loots, rapes, plunders and pillages for a cause we don't like. A 'FREEDOM FIGHTER' on the other hand is someone who loots, rapes, plunders and pillages for a cause we DO like."
Over simplified? Perhaps. Black humor? Of course, but it does illustrate an interesting point. How we define geopolitics in the 70's and 80's was relatively simple. We had one litmus test. Is he/she communist? If the answer to that question was yes then it was accepted that they were evil and all of their citizens were either:

a. mindless drones
b. brain washed idiots
c. godless atheist

or my personal favorite

d. oppressed people who long to breath the sweet air of freedom but are suffering under the brutal regime of an evil totalitarian.

If one WASN'T a communist the wholesale butchery of your populace, rigging of elections and having political dissidents "eliminated" by your secret police were completely ignored by your friend of friends the United States of America. It's the reason why Pol Pot and Daniel Ortega will burn in hell, but we ignored Agusto Pinochet, the Shah of Iran, Manuel Norriega and Saddam Hussein for the bulk of his reign.

President Barack Obama was recently photographed shaking hands with Venezuelan leader Hugo Chavez and the bulk of American conservatives had a collective heart attack and immediately went on the offensive. He was called everything from "naive" to "socialist" to flat out "communist." Why because he met the leader of another country, shook the man's hand and smiled while exchanging pleasantries.
Initially I couldn't see what the big deal was, but a conservative whom I work with as well as a friend of mine informed me that shaking hands with a dictator like Chavez undermined both Obama AND the authority of the United States. Something about that didn't seem quite right. Being a student of history I knew this couldn't have been the first time an American president shook hands with a dictator. To jump start my memory I found some old photographs which backed up something which my gut had been telling me and sure enough I found pictures of former American presidents shaking hands with dictators.

I found a treasure trove of former presidents shaking hands with men who were the poster boys for dictatorship. There were multiple shots of Reagan shaking hands with former Russian premier Gorbachev. Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't Reagan call Russia an "Evil Empire?" I could have sworn that during the cold war the Russians had intercontinental ballistic missiles pointed at every major city in the United States poised to wipe us off the map. Gorbachev's Russian oversaw a Gulag system that still sent political dissidents to Siberia and funded wars in Central America and Southeast Asia. Where was the conservative anger when "Ronnie" shook hands with this 'evil' commie? I guess George Will was busy that day.


I saw pictures of Bill Clinton George Herbert Walker Bush, Ronald Reagan AND Jimmy Carter with Yassar Arafat leader of the Palestinian Liberation Organization. The United States has LONG considered the PLO a terrorist organization. Where was the uproar?

When Nixon recognized China and made his historic trip with Secretary of State Kissinger and took a now famous photo with Chairman Mao Tse Tung. pardon me, but wasn't Mao the guy who sent Chinese troops at American troops in human waves on the 38th parallel at the Yalu River during the Korean war? Didn't he also start the "cultural revolution" and send millions to death and work camps? I could have sworn he did yet there was no uproar when Nixon shook hands with him.
And Franklin Delano Roosevelt not only shook hands with Josef Stalin, but brought the Soviets into World War Two as our allies. Josef Stalin was possibly one of the worst totalitarian butchers in the history of the world. Stalin killed tens of millions MORE of his own people than Hitler and the 3rd Reich. His secret police rounded his enemies up in the middle of the night to be executed or shipped to Siberia. He ruled his country with an iron hand, reduced human life to numbers on a chart and had history books rewritten to cover the full extent of his crimes against the world.

Do I mean to minimize any wrong that Hugo Chavez may have done or may STILL be doing? Of course not. Do I think Mr. Chavez to be relatively sane? Not really. But in the grand scheme of things, Chavez isn't funding terrorist to attack us and isn't pointing thermonuclear weapons at us, hence I don't see him as a threat? What I find puzzling is that despite George W. Bush declaring that Chavez was an evil dictator we didn't cease buying oil from Venezuela or impose an embargo on products from them. Chavez nationalized his country's oil supply and effectively angered foreign oil companies who were making a fortune in his country and the 2% of Venezuela's population who control all of it's wealth. Translation? This crazy guy wants to control his country's natural resources, build schools, roads and hospitals and stop the poor in his country from taking to the streets with guns to over throw whomever's in charge. HOW DARE HE!?!
Chavez routinely sends brutal police to attack demonstrators and is far from being the "man of the people" he would like to be seen as. He censors newspapers and imprisons those who disagree with him. He IS a dictator and should be seen and treated as such, but on that same token, an American president should NOT be unfairly demonized for simply extending a social pleasantry. I wager that had President Obama openly criticized Chavez or punched him in the face the same conservatives who are still in an uproar about this handshake would be chastising him for being "uncouth" and "un presidential." If one is determined to see something with enough zeal, eventually he or she will see it.

Susan can sing...AND?!

Last week several people bothered me (as they are want to do as I'm an admitted misanthrope) that I simply HAD to watch a video on You-Tube of a British show called "Brittan's Got Talent". Being that iconoclastic fool who takes pride in taking a left when everyone else takes a right I initially refused but having grown weary of hearing the masses bleating I eventually gave in.
I went to YouTube and saw a large, ordinary looking woman who looked as if she'd just walked out of a supermarket who announced to two grinning panelist and a stone faced Simon Cowell that she was going to sing a song from Les Miserables. I sat there thinking how much I didn't like musicals but decided that her voice was what she was being judged on and my personal musical taste had no real bearing.
The music started and Ms. Susan Boyle of Scotland sang like an angel. A smile crossed my face as I was quite impressed with her vocal talent. Having gone to High school and college with some people with extraordinary vocal talent, it was not the first time I'd heard someone with a classically trained sounding voice rising to challenging material. I was fortunate enough to have gone on a couple of dates with an Opera student at one point and was privileged enough to have been briefly serenaded, but that's neither here nor there. Susan Boyle received a standing ovation and impressed me with her talent but I couldn't see what the big deal was...until she stopped singing and the comments started.
One of the judges said "We expected you to fail." I was puzzled. I then saw clips of various entertainment news programs where they announced that Susan was now an " internet sensation" and many of the talking heads and hair farms (who should avoid the gene pool at all cost) on these various programs said how people didn't expect such an incredible voice to come from such an "unattractive" person.
I would say I was insulted, but as Richard Nixon once said "One can only be insulted by those he respects." I sat there and listened as many weighed in on this talented woman and used adjectives like "unattractive," "Ugly", "Frumpy" and a myriad of others to describe this woman who only wanted to sing to them. Am I the ONLY person who (If I might paraphrase George Michael) listened without prejudice? If so then I have to say you people make me sick.
I have to ask what the HELL does ones appearance have to do with one's talents and abilities? Are we as a society so superficial and UNBELIEVABLY STUPID that we correlate beauty with talent? Is Charleze Theiron a better actress than Cathy Bates because she's younger, thinner and some migh argue prettier? Is Brad Pitt a better actor than Ed Norton simply because he's better looking? Having grown up in the days when MTV was in it's infancy I remember listening to the radio in the late 70's. When radio stations played all types of music we judged all of it simply on rather or not we actually liked either, the beat, the lyrics or simply the singers voice. MTV changed the game. Musical taste shifted. People who were fun to look at became stars seemingly overnight and established acts faded into oblivion as many proved to either not know how to make good music videos or simply proved physically unappealing to those watching. When I spent three years as a DJ I was AMAZED at how much INCREDIBLE music never made it to commercial radio stations because of how political the music industry is, and just how visually oriented much of it has become. Did we learn NOTHING from the Milli Vanilli debacle of the late 80's/early 90s?
Susan Boyle deserves the recognition she's receiving as a talented singer, but we as a society need to hang our heads for exalting talentless bimbos and effeminte, tone-deaf, pretty boys while talented people like Susan are lucky to sing in their own showers.

Hey Madonna...still looking to adopt?

American entertainer Josephine Baker had to undergo a radical emergency hysterectomy and was told she couldn't have any children. Baker's response was to adopt children of seemingly every race, color and creed and label them her "rainbow tribe".
In keeping with the late great Ms. Baker's love for children, many Hollywood types as of late seem to want to spread the love around and are adopting children who might otherwise have grown up in orphanages. Angelina Jolie re popularized it when she sojourned to Cambodia and adopted her oldest son Maddox and years later the one and only Madonna-Louise Veronica Ciccone-Penn-Ritchie followed suit and adopted a cute little African kid...shortly after Ms. Jolie did the same.
Recently Madonna went back to Africa and attempted to adopt a second child and a court has temporarily blocked the adoption. Well, if the courts don't allow Madonna to this child I have a simple solution that would be beneficial to the child, his/her family, the African nation in question, Madonna and myself. I respectfully submit to Ms. Ciccone-Penn-Ritchie she should adopt...ME!
Yes ME! Madonna is 10 years my senior and as older women tend to attempt to "mother" younger men...it's a win/win situation. There would be no legal fees or tedious adoption paperwork to fill out as I'm sure my family would HAPPILY let Ms. Ciccone simply have me.
Just think of it Madonna (or should I call you "Mom"?):

1. You won't have to get me an entry visa.

2. You wouldn't have to hire a nanny or an aupere to take care of me..but if you want to hire a hot college student to tend to me I'd be in a good place with it.

3. You wouldn't have to toilet train me.

4. I don't eat much

5. You wouldn't have to pay my way through school...unless you really wanted to... a brotha could use a masters or a PhD.

But wait there's more, you could take me on the road with you on tours. I'd love to tour Europe with you! It'd be a great chance to meet Robyn (You know the little blonde Swede who does R&B who was your opening act for the "sticky and sweet" tour in Europe?) I'd be better than a press agent and would make sure that good press about your work with various charities made it to press.
In all seriousness however, I applaud Madonna, Angelina Jolie and other actors and actresses who adopt. You are giving a child a family and that is just beautiful. My only criticism would be this: there are starving children here in the United States (Ms. Jolie) and in England (Madonna) who need families as well and could also benefit from your obvious good will and philantrhophy. It's great to give to those who most need your help, but true charity should always begin at home.

I do...and good bye.

 Shortly after graduating from college I Dee-jayed at KTRU here in Houston as well as an internet based station. At both stations I had a late-night/AM shift. The chief benefit to the shift in question being that you have the RUN of the station. You can walk around wearing whatever you like, play whatever you wish (provided it's FCC compliant) and not have to worry about the powers that be immediately coming down on you for your actions. While doing this, I spent a fair amount of time online in various chat groups and met some fantastic people from all over the world.

     I was fortunate enough to meet a charming 17 year old German girl whose identity I'll protect by calling her what I've called her since 1998 "Kline Fræulein" (pronounced Kline/a  Fraw/line). She and I talked off and on for the past several years and shared a few moments. She was one of those attempting to cheer me up when the redheaded demon left me, I was one of the man congratulating her when she graduated from both High School and college.

    Our friendship was strictly platonic and our conversations were that of a brother and sister.  When I signed onto Myspace I got a yahoo IM from her and she became one of my first friends. I offered her encouragement as she moved to Hawaii and worked on her masters. While in the 50th state she met a handsome young Marine corps officer and fell madly in love with him and I was MORE than happy for her.

     Earlier this week I logged onto MySpace and my friend's list seemed slightly askew. One of my top tier friends was gone. I looked and noticed that the charming young woman from Deutchland aka "Kline Fræulein" was gone. I went to her page and the saw a glaring message which read "You must be "Kline Fræulein's" friend to view her page and I realized that she'd dropped me from her list. I looked at her new profile pic and noticed her in a simple white dress holding a small bouquet of flowers and standing behind her was her handsome young Marine in his Class D dress blue uniform.

      She'd gotten married. I sent her an email to congratulate her and realize that her friendship was now part of my past. Can men and women be just friends? I'd like to think we can, but can understand how some men do not like for their girlfriends or wives to have single male friends or how married women could share the same sentiment about single women who want to pal around with their husbands. Friends are rare and beautiful specimens who should be appreciated for who they are and loved for all their perks and faults.  I won't lie and say that I won't miss the charming young woman. I feel like a richer person for having known her and while I will miss her...I understand why it ends. Go with God and may your new life and the man with whom you're about to spend it bring you all the joy we both know you deserve. Good bye Kline Fræulein.

Ask yourself this question. If you had a chance to change the course of human history, but received serious threats to your life and knew that you would continue to do so with each step you took towards your goal, would you take it?

        Would you endanger not only your own life, but those of your parents, spouse and children? Would you speak to crowds in open air venues where security would be next to impossible and an assassin could literally be in any shadow or hiding in any bush? 

        Would you subject yourself to public ridicule as falsehoods about your character and patriotism were bandied about as if they were gospel? Would you risk throwing away a quiet middle-class existence for the poorest of the poor who are largely ignorant to the possibilities and freedoms which they have been denied?

        Would you martyr yourself for the cause of basic human dignity knowing that in your death there would still be those who would revile the very mention of your name?

        If you answer yes to all of these questions, then you would be my hero just like Reverend Martin Luther King Junior. This Monday January 19, 2009 I'll be standing on the cold streets of Downtown Houston to honor a man who reminded our nation and the world of the words of Thomas Jefferson when he said in one of the greatest oratories in history "We hold these truths to be self evident that all men are created equal." and stated quite earnestly that "justice delayed is justice denied."

         Doctor King was assassinated a year and a half before I was born and my memories of him as of many in my generation are from audio tapes,  grainy film strips of his speeches and this history books that which have been my lifelong obsession. Doctor King's legacy is not simply that of a great black American, but of a great American. He is a credit to those who laid down their lives on the battle fields of Lexington and concord and those who would do so later at Gettysburg and Shiloh.  He makes me proud to be an American. I can't help but be reminded of the words of Bono lead singer of the Irish rock group U2. He said of his admiration of Martin Luther King that his respect came from the fact that Dr. King "Was willing to give a life, but not willing to take a life."

Happy Birthday Doctor King.

Chinatown Requiem

When I was attending the University of Houston I used to frequently go into the area near the George R. Brown Convention Center (where Houston's Second and third wards meet) known as "old Chinatown". There was (and still is) a store from which I could buy different spices for a fraction of what I'd pay at other stores and there were at least a dozen restaurants.
We called it Old Chinatown, because in the 1950s Houston's Chinese community flocked to the area and opened scores of businesses. In the 1980s there was an influx of South east Asian immigrants who settled in the area between the med center, 3rd ward and The Montrose area. This became little Saigon and it catered to the many Vietnamese who initially lived in the fourth ward and Allen Parkway village. In the Late 80s and early 90s Houston's Asian communities began to buy up cheap land in Bellaire and opened several thriving shopping centers and restaurants and the area became "new Chinatown".
Last night as I drove home I glanced to my right and saw the Signs for The Silver House Restaurant, Yit Ing Ho, the Old Chinese Businessman's Association, and the parking lot where in my childhood stood the Borden Creamery. All that remains of my college haunt are a handful of "all you can eat" buffets, two shops that sell martial arts supplies and various other things, the Supermarket where I still buy spices and a landscape that seems to spout either a new taqueria or over priced loft every other day.
Gone are the places where I used to buy small pieces of jade. Gone are the shops where I could find strange little curiosities. The city evolves and all happens in cycles. As much as I hate to admit it, old Chinatown is dead and the handful of smiling elderly shop keepers to whom I give my patronage and I seem to be the only ones disturbed by it.
I occasionally sojourn to Bellaire to where Chinatown now resides, but in it I feel like an old man who lives in his child's guest room. You know you're welcome, but it feels as if you're imposing.

Good Nazis?

 In the minds of simple men history often paints with broad strokes in a series of absolutes. There are good guys and bad guys and all is effectively black and white. Were one to mention the German Army of the 1930's and 40's the general consensus would be of mindless zealots following Hitler's ever order as if it were the infallible word of God himself.

           Adolph Hitler was a vile cancer born of German political apathy which almost killed the entire world. In Valkyrie, his latest and most important film role to date,  Tom Cruise brings to life a hero of the second world war who sadly most Americans have never heard of. His name was Colonel Claus von Staffenberg. Staffenberg lead a group of feild grade officers and generals in a failed assasination/coup which attempted to overthrow Hitlers government and dismantle the SS. 

         Staffenberg and his coconspirators attempted to place a bomb in a briefcase in one of Hitler's staff meetings and while the bomb did go off Hitler's wounds were superficial. Stafflenberg and his cohorts were tried for treason (which they openly admitted) and said that they would rather be remembered by history for having proven that not all Germans agreed with the Austrian despot who forever cast an ugly shadow and the fine people of Germany.

         While I'm not in the habit of writing film reviews I think anyone who does not take the fate of his country or world seriously should sit through this film. As it was once said: "Injustice occurs when good men do nothing."