Hey Madonna...still looking to adopt?

American entertainer Josephine Baker had to undergo a radical emergency hysterectomy and was told she couldn't have any children. Baker's response was to adopt children of seemingly every race, color and creed and label them her "rainbow tribe".
In keeping with the late great Ms. Baker's love for children, many Hollywood types as of late seem to want to spread the love around and are adopting children who might otherwise have grown up in orphanages. Angelina Jolie re popularized it when she sojourned to Cambodia and adopted her oldest son Maddox and years later the one and only Madonna-Louise Veronica Ciccone-Penn-Ritchie followed suit and adopted a cute little African kid...shortly after Ms. Jolie did the same.
Recently Madonna went back to Africa and attempted to adopt a second child and a court has temporarily blocked the adoption. Well, if the courts don't allow Madonna to this child I have a simple solution that would be beneficial to the child, his/her family, the African nation in question, Madonna and myself. I respectfully submit to Ms. Ciccone-Penn-Ritchie she should adopt...ME!
Yes ME! Madonna is 10 years my senior and as older women tend to attempt to "mother" younger men...it's a win/win situation. There would be no legal fees or tedious adoption paperwork to fill out as I'm sure my family would HAPPILY let Ms. Ciccone simply have me.
Just think of it Madonna (or should I call you "Mom"?):

1. You won't have to get me an entry visa.

2. You wouldn't have to hire a nanny or an aupere to take care of me..but if you want to hire a hot college student to tend to me I'd be in a good place with it.

3. You wouldn't have to toilet train me.

4. I don't eat much

5. You wouldn't have to pay my way through school...unless you really wanted to... a brotha could use a masters or a PhD.

But wait there's more, you could take me on the road with you on tours. I'd love to tour Europe with you! It'd be a great chance to meet Robyn (You know the little blonde Swede who does R&B who was your opening act for the "sticky and sweet" tour in Europe?) I'd be better than a press agent and would make sure that good press about your work with various charities made it to press.
In all seriousness however, I applaud Madonna, Angelina Jolie and other actors and actresses who adopt. You are giving a child a family and that is just beautiful. My only criticism would be this: there are starving children here in the United States (Ms. Jolie) and in England (Madonna) who need families as well and could also benefit from your obvious good will and philantrhophy. It's great to give to those who most need your help, but true charity should always begin at home.