I Figure...(an updated "Modest Proposal")

     (OBVIOUS SATIRE)


Why is my hard earned money being dumped into schools that don't work? Secretary Devos says she'd get rid of public schools and I say she and president Trump are right! Let companies who want to open schools open 'em. As a country we're all about competition and that competition will make America even greater!
     The government running schools or anything else has a name, and that name is COMMUNISM! President Reagan proved that communism don't work when he won the cold war and defeated the Soviet Union all by himself.

        The "tax & spend" liberals like Nancy Pelosi want to waste more of my money on failing
schools. Hell, they even want all the schools to teach the same subjects so they can  do some kind of mind control. I don't want nobody in Washington D.C. tellin' me what MY kids ought to learn.
     Everybody knows that D.C. is controlled by Hollywood types who hate America, freedom and Jesus.  They're gonna want to teach that Muslims don't hate us, that men in dresses are "women", homos should get married and that the government should be able to take my guns away. You know the whole damn liberal agenda.

      I aint go to nobody's college and I turned out alright.  Hell, they don't do nothin' in college but read books anyway. Books are boring. If you aint talking about the Bible, aint nothing in books I need.  People who read books think they're better than everybody else anyway and all they know is what the liberal media and professors want them to know.  If they got rid of the liberal public school system I could teach my kids myself. Reading, writing and basic math are all they need to know. If they want to know history I'll tell 'em about the revolutionary war and how the whole country was behind George Washington fighting for freedom.
    I'll tell my kids how big government tried to over regulate small businessmen and brought us into a civil war that heroes like Robert E. Lee could have won if they had half the men the Union Army did.  The money
      
       I'm being forced to pay is being WASTED by people who took the bible out of school so they could tell my kids that sins against God are "normal" and we should "accept" and "tolerate" 'em. That money would do more good in my pocket. I could teach my kids useful stuff like fishing and things they can use in real life. You know, useful stuff like gapping your spark plugs or rebuilding a carburetor.  This country got to be great by kicking ass in wars not because a bunch of people read books and go to school. Aint nobody trying to keep everybody in school except them weak, socialist countries in Europe that need us to protect 'em and the Chinese.
     Hell if the Chinese were so great, they wouldn't be making all our shoes and phones and stuff. #MAGA